The Past Four Months

Every time I have opened my blog to start back up with the updates, I see what the date was of my last blog entry. And it never fails to stop me in my tracks. And here's why.

My last blog entry was on March 18th. Back on March 18th, I was completely oblivious to what was coming in the next 24 hours. I had no idea that my world was about to be tossed upside down. I had no idea that the things I was writing about in my March 18th blog post would become shelved in the back of my mind for the next few weeks. Its kind of spooky when you think about it.

I woke up on Saturday, March 19th with a day full of fun things ahead of me. My mom's sister, Ros, and niece, Kathryn, had arrived from England just the night before. This visit to the States was the first in decades for my aunt. And the first altogether for my cousin. And my Saturday was going to be spent visiting with them! What a fun day! They came to my house to meet James and the girls before we headed to BYU for an amazing production by the BYU Young Ambassadors. We finished off the afternoon with an early dinner at Zupa's and they dropped me off at home before going to visit some more family. When I got home, I was immediately back in "Mom" mode, hurrying to get the girls some dinner and ready for bed. I did take a minute to watch some of the BYU basketball game. I am not a huge sports fan, but I couldn't help but get caught up in "Jimmermania."

At about 8:00 pm, I got a call from my brother, Ryan. Not completely unheard of, but unusual. He asked me where our Mom was. I told him that she had dropped me off and was heading to visit Diane and Alison before going back to Grantsville, so she wouldn't be home for another hour or so. Then he asked me if Dad enjoyed the concert that we went to and that he was surprised that he went.

Ummmm... hold on there. Dad didn't go with us. I told him just that and there was silence on the other end. He finally said, "Dad didn't go down south with Mom today?" My reply was, "Nope. I thought he watched the BYU game at your house today." But Ryan explained to me that he had called the house a few times to see when Dad was going to his house, but when no one answered, he assumed Dad had gone with Mom. We sat confused for a little bit, but then I told him that I would call our sister, Karen, to see if she knew where he was. They spent a lot of time together, so it was the next logical guess.

I called Karen. She was at Wal-mart. I asked if she knew where Dad was. "He's at Ryan's watching the BYU game with Jim and my boys." When I told her that I had just gotten off the phone with Ryan and he hadn't been there at all today, she fell silent. We agreed that he must have gone to a movie or something. He hadn't done that for years and it was highly unlikely that he would go during a game, but you never know with our Dad! She said she would track him down and let me know.

I was quickly sucked back into my Mommy duties and got ready for bed myself. I was sitting in bed, watching TV, when at 10:15 pm, I got a text from Alison.

"I'm on my way to get you."

I sat there for a minute, thinking that I had forgotten some late night movie plans or something. But I couldn't remember anything. So I asked her why.

"Dad had a heart attack."

Stunned. Shocked. Devastated. I sat there and stared at the phone for a full minute before calling her to ask what she knew. She said that Karen had found Dad on the floor his basement den and they took an ambulance to the Tooele hospital. I called James, who had just left to get a soda with his brother. Through my frantic sobs, I explained that he needed to come home immediately. While I waited, I called Diane, who also lives in Lehi. I told her what happened and told her we were coming to get her in ten minutes.

James got home. I waited for Alison to pull up and couldn't do anything except pace the room and cry. Without me even noticing, he packed an overnight bag for me, including a laptop. What an amazing husband I have!

My sisters and I were rushing to get to the Tooele hospital, when we got a call that Dad had been taken by ambulance to the U of U hospital. And that he hadn't had a heart attack. He had had a stroke. I'm not sure if this made me feel worse or better. We still didn't know much. The only thing we did know is that Dad had been alone in his room for several hours, waiting for help. It was no one's fault. No one could have possibly known. But it still turns my stomach to think of him there.

Long story short, my mom and seven of our eight siblings (Steve was in California) waited at the hospital while he was evaluated in the ER and then transferred to the NCCU. They had to heavily sedate him and put a breathing tube down his throat, so we couldn't do anything but wait. At about 3:00 am, I finally told my family to go home and try to rest some, since I was the only one that had an overnight bag. I took the first shift at the hospital. The only thing I clearly remember right now is that I didn't sit down more than once for the next nine hours. I just stood by my Dad's bed and held his hand. From this point on, my Dad's story can be read on his blog.

So where are we now? After weeks in the hospital and weeks in rehab, my dad is home. He still has years of recovery ahead of him. I (along with most of my siblings) have spent countless hours/days/weeks/months doing whatever we can to help him and my Mom through this. At this point, I usually take my girls with my to Grantsville for a day or two every week. Sometimes its to help with his care. Sometimes its to keep my parents company. Sometimes its because I just don't want to be so far away.

I've learned a lot during the past few months. A lot about myself and a lot about my family. There have been some good things to come out of this whole thing. Right now they seem minor and insignificant in comparison to the bad things. But they are there. And I think they will be the things to get us through.

I am planning on catching up on my blog now. I have four months of stories and pictures to blog about. Not to mention the dozens of blog posts still missing from last year. But before I could start with those things, I needed to get this one done. One step at a time.